Humans are tribal animals. We have survived and evolved through collaboration with one another. The development of civilization rests upon the shoulders of this tribalism. In many ways, tribalism still exists today, even if it doesn’t seem immediately obvious. Family is a tribe, friends are a tribe, the workplace can be a tribe, and so on through all social groups. Each has its own distinct rules and regulations, and often results in an in-group and an out-group.
These tribal binds can be constructive and supportive, but can also be restrictive and oppressive. There is a fundamental urge to assist others within us, demonstrated by psychological studies on children’s behavior. In the study “Altruistic Helping in Human Infants and Young Chimpanzees” (2006), researchers found that children around 18 months old will usually help if they see a need they can fill, without being prompted. The study offers a fascinating look into the undeveloped human mind; it seems to indicate that we are innately inclined to help each other or, at the very least, the socialization to be helpful takes root early and is instilled deeply.
Living as a member of the tribe promulgates this assistive attitude. Members can help each other, using their unique skills and experiences to provide support. This can be physical, like grandparents offering to babysit grandchildren, or emotional, with siblings, friends, parents, offering advice and support when times get hard. More than being useful additions to life, most of these things can be vital to survival. We have moved from hunting and gathering to farming to urban and suburban life. The actions that foster survival have changed, but our need for assistance from each other has not.
In unhealthy systems, though, this need can be turned around and weaponized. The support the tribe provides can be withheld or removed as a threat, resulting in manipulation and loss of agency. A person hiding their true identity from their parents to avoid being cut off, or a spouse tolerating abuse rather than being alone— fear of exile to the out-group permeates society all the way to our immediate family and friends. This is not only hardwired into us, but there are often practical realities to deal with that make escaping harder, from financial hardship to a mostly non-existent social safety net.
Leaving a tribe can be one of the hardest things to do: it often results in a fight to the death with society, the tribe itself, and your own mind. There is so much pressure surrounding belonging and so much messaging about whom to belong with. The idea of “family” occupies such a high place on the hierarchy of social cohesion, as do religious groups, race, and “traditional” gender roles and sexuality. If your family has harmed you, you’re supposed to rebuild the bridges. If your religion has traumatized you, you might get accused of never really believing. If your identity isn’t what others define as “normal,” you are ostracized, othered, and often times put into physical or emotional danger.
Something must change.
Yes, tribalism has allowed society to evolve to its current state, but clearly the old formulations are no longer functional. In an increasingly globalized society, aided by the interconnectivity of the internet, new tribes are emerging. Suddenly, you aren’t the only one like you in your small town— you aren’t alone. Now, you can connect instantly with people who think like you, look like you, and identify like you, halfway across the world. The old tribes are losing their power and they are fighting it around every corner.
It takes so much work to break free from the binds that restrict and manipulate, but there are other tribes out there for you. It is not the world of hunting and gathering, where exile means certain death. It might feel like certain death and, in a way, there is grieving and loss, but there are other places to go, now more than ever.
Other places to belong.
Edited by Jeremy Harr and Abigail McKay Cherry
Thank you for reading Two Minute Treatise, a weekly essay newsletter focusing on one philosophical topic, two minutes at a time.
First time reading? Subscribe here and view the archive.